Monday, April 29, 2013

Love is the Richest of all Treasures.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I’ve got something to tell you." She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce." I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?"

I avoided her question. This made her angry. As she was clearing the table she shouted at me, "You are not a man!" That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but instead went straight to bed and fell fast asleep because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and went to asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that month we should continue to live as a normal married couple. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had added something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mommy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; "don’t tell our son about the divorce." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She walked to the bus stop to wait for the bus to go to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, we both acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. 

It became easier to carry my wife as the month slipped by. I thought that perhaps the everyday workout had made me stronger.

My wife was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have become bigger." I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin and that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it’s time to carry mom out." It had become an essential part of my son's life seeing his father carrying his mother out. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at the last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. 

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn’t noticed how much our life lacked intimacy."

I drove to the office.  I climbed out of the car hastily without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. Jane opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Jane, I don't want to divorce my wife anymore." She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Jane," I repeated again, "I just can’t divorce my wife!" I explained, "My married life was boring probably because my wife and I didn’t value the details of our lives, but it didn't mean that we didn’t love each other anymore. When I carried my wife into our home on our wedding day it symbolised that I was to hold her "until death do us apart." Jane was furious. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way home, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what I wanted to write in the card. I smiled and wrote, "I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife lying in bed ... dead!  My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me my son from any further heartache in case we pushed through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son I’d still be a loving father and husband….

Author Unknown.

Love, kindness and respect in a relationship is what truly brings happiness. It's not the material things. You can be living in a mansion together but if there is no love there is no happiness. 

Marriage is not easy!  It is a committment that should not be taken lightly either.  So find time to be your spouse’s friend and lover and do those little things for each other that builds intimacy between the two of you. Express your love to each other regularly and never take each other for granted because life is short and every moment with each other is valuable and should be treasured.

Please feel free to share this as you may just save a marriage!  Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success before they gave up.

Remember love is the richest of all treasures. Without it there is nothing; and with it there is everything.

Love never perishes, even if the bones of a lover are ground fine like powder. Just as the perfume of sandalwood does not leave it, even if it is completely ground up, similarly the basis of love is the soul, and it is indestructible and therefore it is ETERNAL.  Beauty can be destroyed, but not love.      ♥ ♥

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